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31 July 2009 @ 11:17 pm
my heart is in Africa.  

there is so much pain & evil in this world, than we realize. most of us that have internet connection & are blessed to be able to have a facebook can't even comprehend it. as human beings we are selfish creatures. we spend most of our time thinking about ourselves. what are we going to eat? what are we going to do today? what movie are we going to see? etc.
i know i spend a lot of time thinking of myself & not enough thinking of other people. society conditions us to think "it's all about me." but it's not.

i've been sitting at my computer for an hour, eating Cheetos, & looking at "Fauxtos" on Snopes.com. i didn't give it a second thought. i didn't realize what a priviledge it was just to do that. & i came across a photograph by Kevin Carter. [http://www.snopes.com/photos/people/kevincarter.asp] it's a picture of an emancipated child in Africa. She was on her way to a food camp, collapsed from hunger, and was literally trying to crawl towards the food camp. as if that isn't already sad enough....there is a vulture in the background sitting a few feet behind the child, waiting for her to die so it can eat.

it took a few seconds for the intensity of the situation to process in my mind. i can't even begin to explain how this makes me feel. it makes me feel selfish, ungrateful, physically ill, undeserving, just horrible.

i have always had WAY MORE in life than i knew what to do with. i eat 3 meals a day & a snack in between. i have choices upon choices upon choices upon choices. i buy so many useless things. i waste money. i live in luxury, without realizing it, when there are TOO many people starving out there. in other countries as well as America. i don't know anything of poverty.

don't get me wrong, i know i have been blessed so wonderfully by God. and i do appreciate it. but sometimes i gotta wonder, why me? and why not that child? why not other people?

it's not fair. and i know this world is not perfect, nor will it even be. but oh how i long for it to be.

and as horrible as processing all of this is, as horrible as it makes me feel, i never want to forget. it's so easy to just forget about other people, because it's not directly affecting me. i never want to take anything for granted again.

i never want to forget.